You Win Rights With New Laws, Not "Dignity" or "Respect"

Those trying to "win marriage" for same-sex couples in Oregon just said, “There is no substitute for the respect and dignity that comes with marriage.” A legal category labeled "marriage" will not win us respect or dignity. We either imbue ourselves with dignity that commands respect or it was not there to begin with. Homophobes will not recognize our dignity nor give us respect regardless of the legal title of our relationships. Similarly, those who have respect for all people will recognized the dignity of our relationships regardless of the title.

We want to gain our rights, not have the hand that so recently slapped our face pat us on the head.

If I were a homophobic person I would be delighted the LGBT leaders are making such statements. It insures the continuation of a strategy which has never won an election.

Our strategy should be about equal rights under the law and not an emotional claim, no matter how true it may be, that our relationships are just as good as heterosexual marriages. To take our eye off the prize, which is rights, is just bad politics. No wonder marriage has never won an election.

Washington's domestic partnership election was about fairness and we won! 55-60% of American voters support equal rights and benefits for same-sex couples but only 40% support calling it marriage. Of course this is illogical but it is an electoral fact we must live with.

I am a proud gay man and I don't give a damn how my rights are labeled, I just want equal rights. I want marriage equality in rights and benefits, not labeling! The marriage-only strategy, and it is a strategy not a goal, has set us back and has lost sight of our true goal: rights, not rites.